When the heart grieves over what is has lost, the spirit rejoices over what it has left.

For the longest time i felt nothingness, truly the worst.  It's when you reach this point that you realize you felt the pain too much and have lost all sense of hope.  You dont even know what you want anymore, if you're mad, sad, or just disappointed.  Then i realized i was all of these, and boi do they conflict.  One minute im crying my eyes out, the next im i spewing out countless "i hate him's" (< i that one).  Nothing expresses these emotions more than a quote from Miss New York..."I hate him, I hate him, i love him dearly though, but i hate him for what he did to me."  HaHa So my mind went into overdrive trying to reach some ultimate conclusion to this whole teenage ordeal.  it didnt work, it jus drove me crazi...loco.  why?!  all i wanted was attention from a boi, the right one.  nothing else.  all i wanted was to not be hurt.  nothing else.  all i wanted was to be happi. nothing else. but nothing else wouldn't come so easy.  it would mean sacraficing my self-esteem, lowering my standards- drastically, and dealing with disappointment on a regular basis.  i couldn't and wouldn't do it. i made it through most of high school will self respect and there was no way i would finish any differently.  people often say im intimidating, i jus think i have something most girls lack, determination. when i want something bad enough, ill get it and no one will get me off that track.  either im ur everything or nothing. so when u see this fyne shortie strollin (dont worri i dont really talk like this) dont even try to run games, cause you can best believe im runnin one of my own and you'll always lose. you roll the dice, i deal the cards.

~Finally a resting place for my thoughts~